Ecstatic Agendas

“We may only be subordinates / but we hear everything

All your closed door conversations / we’re always listening

We sense frequencies you’d never hear / or think to pay attention to” 

– Ezra Furman ⁽¹⁾

Greetings, Comrades!

The rain is finally here, and with it come the short days of silver light filtering gently through heavy clouds; a reduction, a clarified essence.  I think many of us grow up conditioned to desire bright sunny days- that is what we think we want! But for me the greys of Autumn, long shadows in the afternoon, mosses turning black, and the rasp of dry leaves blowing down the street are a purer expression of familiarity and comfort.

The keening crows are encamped around my house- they’ve been singing all day, never stopping. I wish I could invite them in, open my door, open my mouth, let them climb down my throat to nest and hunt in the gloaming acreage of my heart. Someday I will take my place among them; a gleaming black bird pressing headlong through an orifice of welcoming flesh.

Those of us who dig into anthro-poetic nuance – magic – what is it we are doing? As we learn more about the archaic and contemporary technologies of the Invisible, we are able to inch forward toward practical goals, while at the same time tuning our awareness to more subtle currents of luck and fate; recognizing with greater precision the presence of supernal, carnal, and plutonian influences and opportunities. This brings with it, I find, a greater blessing: our emotions come into softer equilibrium and when we get angry or sad (or overly boisterous) we are more often able to recognize this, detach ourselves; and rather than being subjugated and consumed by these feelings, we are increasingly able to use them as tools for reflection and action.  Additionally, while we progress toward our personal goals it is also more apparent that these goals too are potential traps. We might come to feel a peace of mind and a lack of desperation, able to recognize something beautiful: 

“I am not the pilot of this ship.” 

There are forces and tides unrecognizable to the human ego and lifespan – grand themes at work upon the Earth and in our bodies that send us forth like sand in a windstorm, leaves over asphalt, clouds across the moon.  As such, we are only partially responsible for our victories and failings. The ills and goodness in the world will continue with or without our worry and perspiration. We can lend our efforts to good or to ill, but we can’t sweep all the pieces off the chessboard.  

For this clarity, if that’s what it is, I am thankful to the spirits with whom I have conspired.

Spirits. Some people think of these as literal objective entities; others consider them to be expressions of subjective psychological urges. There is much said in occult discourse about this issue: the Psychological Model vs. the Spirit- based Model. 

Initiatory magician Lon Milo DuQuette famously wrote, “It’s all in your head- you just have no idea how big your head is.” ⁽²⁾  As respected as he is in many quarters of the occult community, this statement has been critiqued in recent years as falling too much within the psychological model. These days it is au currant to subscribe to that other model- the Spirit-Based Model (meaning, again, that the forces with which we consort are indeed objectively real intelligences that, however disembodied they may be, do possess an existence and personae separate from and irrespective of our own.)

I myself however do not find this line of questioning particularly interesting or useful.  I don’t agree that DuQuette was denying objective existence – real-ness – to the spirits. My extrapolation is that his statement can contain room for all – your brain is not your brain, but a lens of sorts through which is filtered and sorted all kinds of information: sensory, conjectural, imaginal, emanational and more. In that sense everything is “in” “your” “head” by virtue of the fact that nothing at all is apprehensible in its separateness- the whole world comes together through you.

In any event, when we prepare ourselves correctly, sing the recommended words, move our bodies through space in the prescribed motions, set out the corresponding oils and herbs and candles, demand audience, and word our petitions properly, something happens. Sometimes.

With, perhaps, a few exceptions, one system seems as good as another. Pick one and work through it- with other seekers or alone, as suits your nature. With teachers, or like the Fool walking carefree off the cliff. Enrobed in your temple or screaming naked in the forest. Patience, tenacity, attention to detail, and a good balance of wonder and skepticism will bring results.  Just don’t read too many books.

Speaking of thankful changes, of inching forward, of leaves on the wind and crows down the throat… I’ve done something drastic: returned to school!  I am now, in my 45th year, an incoming graduate student at a local university – in the sciences no less!  I’ll be studying the effects of hardship and cataclysm on humans; how we respond to crises, and hopefully finding ways to build greater resilience in our communities.  

Maybe I’ll talk more specifically about the program in a future communique- for now I’m not sure how much I want these two facets of my life to overlap publically.  But so far, the classwork is very intensive, especially for a reformed bohemian such as myself. I am feeling challenged to step outside my comfort zone, already interfacing with emergency services, law enforcement, and the scientific community in ways I would have never dreamed!

I know this will change the nature of my blog and lots of other parts of my life – I hope I can maintain my (near-) monthly schedule here by posting shorter essays, but it’s likely you’ll be getting these missives in diminished frequency for the foreseeable future.  It is paramount that alongside my new program of study I also keep up with my private praxis and astral habits, which may mean abandoning my self-imposed blog schedule.  Writing in this format has been full of fun and frustration in equal measure and I am proud that I’ve kept it up this long.  I am so very grateful to you for reading, and I’ll be back as soon as I can (be that next month or next year!) In the meantime, I hope you’ll make an opportunity to get outdoors and hold some earth in your hands.

With affection,

Jason Triefenbach, HFHR

Jason is an artist, writer, and non-denominational minister with a garden and a lifelong interest in lurking around the Occult/ Paranormal shelves in bookstores worldwide. As Sun Duel they record and sometimes perform music with a variety of friends and loved ones.  www.linktr.ee/JWT9000 

Works Cited

1. Train Comes Through, Ezra Furman. 2022, All of Us Flames https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcFaptx7jg
2. The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford. 2001, Lon Milo Duquette. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/409683-the-chicken-qabalah-of-rabbi-lamed-ben-clifford-dilettante-s-guide-to-w
3. Hail Hekate: Walking the Forked Path. Jack Grayle, The Blackthorne School. https://www.theblackthorneschool.com/courses/hail-hekate-walking-the-forked-path/